FET app explained: the kink app that isn’t FetLife

FET or FetLife? Two different apps

FET calls itself “the kink & BDSM dating app for the fetish crowd.” Inside you’ll find a newsfeed, private messages, a forum, live chat rooms and an events listing. It’s made by Ideawise Limited, a company in Hong Kong, with customer support run by a service company in Berlin. Its home on the web is Fetish.com, whose footer names the same Ideawise Limited. You can use it on an iPhone, on Android, or in a browser at Fetish.com.

FetLife is a separate site with a history of its own: John Kopanas (known there by his username, JohnBaku) launched it in Montreal in 2008. If that’s the one you meant, follow the link; the rest of the field is in our kink apps guide.

Is FET legit?

It’s a real company’s app, and an actively kept one. At the time of writing (October 2026), the iPhone app reached version 16.0.0 on October 15, and the Android app was updated the day before. Its current App Store listing dates from November 2019. It won Best Fetish App & Website at the UK Fetish Awards 2025, decided by public vote, and it was among the nominees at the 2026 SXMAwards in Berlin.

One thing it no longer does: livestreaming. A help center article dated March 2026 says it was removed “due to contractual reasons.” If you remember going live there, that’s where it went.

Why FET feels like a clubhouse

Swipe apps are built for speed. FET leans toward the clubhouse: a place where you can read, ask and lurk before you ever say hello to anyone. That matters more in kink than almost anywhere, because the first step is usually figuring out what you even want, and whether you’re allowed to want it.

The questions you wouldn’t ask anywhere else

FET’s own magazine says members bring the forums questions “they won’t ask anywhere else,” and that the posts people save most include ones on aftercare (the cuddles, water and quiet check-in after an intense scene) and on spotting fake Doms (people who use dominance as a pickup line rather than a practice). That’s the community at its best: curious, a little nerdy, and protective of newcomers.

The thrill of a mask

There’s a reason a username feels freeing. Psychologist John Suler called it the online disinhibition effect: when nobody knows your face, you say the brave thing. On FET that’s the point. You can admit to a fantasy you’ve carried for years, under a name your coworkers won’t recognize, and see who answers with “same.”

House rules with acronyms

FET’s code of conduct builds on three classic kink philosophies: SSC (safe, sane and consensual), RACK (risk-aware consensual kink) and PRICK (personal responsibility, informed consensual kink). Different flavors of one idea: everyone knows what they’re agreeing to, and everyone owns their part. If you’re new to the vocabulary, our page on BDSM for beginner couples is a gentle place to start.

Inside FET: the kink test, chat rooms, Kinky Ads and Limits

The BDSM Compatibility Test

FET has its own quiz, which it cheerfully calls “non-scientific.” Your results go on your profile, and FET uses them to match you with people who are “into the same kinks, or the perfect opposite.” That second half is the fun one: a dominant streak meets its submissive counterpart, a tease meets someone who loves to wait. It isn’t the separate BDSM Test at bdsmtest.org, so take both if you like a second opinion.

Chat rooms that never close

The chat rooms run around the clock, watched by volunteer moderators called FETmods, and there’s a “Call Chat-Op” option for when someone needs reining in. Public rooms are for talking. Roleplay belongs in private rooms, and those are opened by paid members. So if a conversation turns into a scene, take it somewhere with a door.

Forum, Events and Kinky Ads

The forum is where the questions and the long answers live. Events lists what’s on. Kinky Ads are notices saying what you’re looking for. Your profile also carries your Limits, the things you won’t do, stated up front so nobody has to guess.

How to do it well

• Lurk first. Read the forum for a week. You’ll learn the local slang, the regulars and the tone before you post.
• Write an ad with a premise, not a shopping list. “A slow evening of being told what to do” says more than ten kinks in a row.
• Keep your Limits clear. A short, honest list reads as confident, and anyone who argues with it has told you all you need to know.
• Say hello in public, play in private. The public rooms are a lobby. The good conversations usually move on to a private room or a message.

Why the app is tame and the website isn’t

Open FET from the App Store and it’s surprisingly buttoned-up. That’s deliberate. FET calls its store app “ASFW” (App-Store-Safe-for-Work): suggestive, never explicit. According to its help center, nudity, photos of BDSM play and toys belong on the website, Fetish.com, and some themes are allowed in text only. A short list of hard bans applies everywhere, weapons among them.

Unlocking the website’s adult side

• To see 18+ content you need an active Premium or VIP membership (paid, or redeemed with points) plus a free 18+ check. The check lapses when the membership does.
• To post 18+ content you need a check with a government-issued ID, offered free through Yoti, according to a help article first published in June 2026.

FET Uncut, the Android version outside Google Play

FET’s site advertises “Uncut” for Android, “the full, unfiltered app.” It’s an APK, an install file downloaded from FET’s own site rather than from Google Play. When we checked, its download page was in German only, offered version 14.6.0, and asked you to allow installs from unknown sources. We wouldn’t sideload it: that switch turns off one of your phone’s guardrails, and the website already shows its adult side to members who unlock it.

FET for two: ideas to try together

Couples are welcome here, and the app has room for you: a couple profile can sit alongside each partner’s own, and two profiles can be linked. FET’s magazine even has a guide for couples asking where to start. Here’s where we’d start.

Take the test apart, then compare

Each take FET’s test on your own phone, in your own time, and keep the results to yourself until an agreed hour (Friday at nine has a nice ring to it). Then trade phones. Where you match, you have a shortlist. Where you land as “the perfect opposite,” you may have something even better: a dynamic waiting to be tried, if you both want it. Talk about the surprises first. They’re usually the best part.

Write your Limits side by side

Limits go on your profile, so fill them in on the same sofa. Done slowly, it’s a flirty negotiation disguised as admin: each of you proposes a line, the other says keep, cut or “tell me more.” By the end you know each other’s edges better than you did at dinner. Your Kinky Ad deserves the same treatment: one of you drafts the premise, the other adds the twist.

A first munch together

A munch is a casual social for kinky people, usually at a café, a bar or a restaurant. Clothes stay on and nobody plays; people just talk. Look for one in Events, and go as a pair. Before you walk in, decide how much of your story is for sharing tonight. On the way home, each name one person you’d happily sit next to again: that’s how a scene starts to feel like yours.

A verified selfie with a purpose

Verifying a couple profile takes a private photo of both of you, faces and left hands. Make it your first couple’s photo for the kinky side of your life: two faces, two left hands raised like a secret handshake.

Secret Photos, for each other only

Secret Photos are pictures you share only with the people you choose, and you can take that access back. Leave one for your partner, suggestive rather than explicit: a blindfold on the nightstand, say, with tonight’s date written beside it. Let them guess the rest until you get home.

If you’re thinking of meeting others together, the questions get bigger, and our page on Feeld for couples is about exactly that conversation.

What’s free, and what “Superpowers” add

Joining, messaging, chatting and posting cost nothing, and the free app shows ads. The paid side is two memberships, Premium and VIP, which FET sells as “Superpowers”: more visitors, a spot higher in lists, extra filters, a stealth mode, no ads, and the key to the website’s adult content. Both renew automatically until you cancel, so if the spark fades, cancel where you paid. We leave prices out: check them in the app before you buy.

Then there are points, bought or earned, which pay for extras and can even redeem a membership. They stay inside the app, though: points are never cashed out.

Staying discreet and safe on FET

Discretion is FET’s whole pitch, and it gives you real tools. Use them, and add a few habits of your own.

Lock it and hide your whereabouts

• Turn on the app lock. A passcode or Touch ID keeps a curious hand on your phone out of your messages.
• Skip GPS unless you want it seen. Members who share their GPS location get a “Live” tag, and it stays up to 24 hours after their last login.
• Browse privately if you pay. Private browsing is a paid extra, and Secret Photos let you revoke access whenever you change your mind.
• Filter your messages. You can filter who reaches you by gender, age, location and more. New women in the US, Germany and the UK start with filters that ask senders for an avatar and an age within ten years of theirs.

The rules that protect you

FET is for adults 18+ only. Its code of conduct is blunt: “We don’t out each other,” and outing a member earns a permanent ban. Nobody may ask for money, sell anything, or play findomme (financial domination, where paying is the kink). Public contact details are off-limits, and sending explicit photos nobody asked for gets a warning, then a ban. You can block anyone, report anonymously, and repeat offenders collect warning points until they’re banned.

Your habits

• Never send money to anyone you meet here. FET’s help center says the same. A sob story with a payment link is a scam, whatever it’s dressed as.
• Ask first, and keep your face out. Ask before you send anything spicy, and keep faces, tattoos, jewelry and a recognizable bedroom out of the frame: screenshots beat every privacy feature. Never pass on anyone else’s photos either; it’s illegal in many places.
• If someone threatens to share your photos unless you pay, that’s sextortion. Pay nothing, reply to nothing, keep the evidence and report them. For adults, StopNCII.org offers a free way to flag the image to partner platforms.
• Meet in public first. A munch is ideal. Tell a friend where you’ll be and when you expect to be home.

Know what the app knows

FET’s App Store privacy label says “Sensitive Info” may be used to track you, and its privacy policy names a data controller in Hong Kong and a developer in China. Worth knowing before you fill in a profile: leave your real name, workplace and hometown out of it. If you ever leave, deleting your account takes the profile down at once, and FET says your data is erased after 30 days.

Questions